That makes it something quite different to the secular understanding of marriage which sees marriage more about the personal happiness of each spouse  

In the secular model, marriage doesn’t need to be permanent. Nor does it need to involve children let alone raising them Catholic. The popularity of pre-nuptial agreements indicates a choice for limited and conditional sharing rather than unconditional sharing.  

And sexual infidelity is frequently indulged, often by mutual agreement in so called ‘monogamish’ or ‘open’ marriages.  

It’s hard to imagine anyone giving their life to defend such an impoverished concept of marriage as defined by our present secular culture.  

But St Valentine didn’t die for this idea of marriage. He died defending a much grander idea; the idea that the freely–given, total, faithful and fruitful love of a man and woman in marriage could point us to God. The idea that this kind of relationship revealed the inner life of the creator of the universe. 

So, dear Christian couples, this St Valentine’s day, set your sights high! Do not be limited to the reductionistic view of marriage that the culture puts forward but lean into a bigger, grander vision. Tap into the aspirations of your youth and to which God invites us to pursue with diligence and persistence.